During confession

The importance of contrition cannot be emphasized enough, especially the inner aspect of contrition: the conversion of our heart to God, detestation of our sins, and the desire to improve. This aspect is largely God’s work in our hearts. However, we would not be fully human – with soul and body – if we did not wish to express our contrition. Therefore, the rite provides for the penitent to say an act of contrition. Use the act of contrition you prefer: a traditional act of contrition (see above) or a text of evangelical origin such as the so-called “Jesus prayer”: “Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” This is inspired by the words of the repentant tax collector (Luke 18:13) and the blind Bartimaeus (Luke 18:35-38).

Contrition is not a matter of feelings or tears. It is the painful awareness that we have wronged God through our sins, accompanied by the desire to improve. If this awareness is accompanied by feelings of sorrow or tears, then this is a beautiful gift from God for which we can be grateful. However, the absence of these feelings does not mean that our contrition is not sincere.

The characteristics of a good confession are contained in the acronym the 4 C’s: clear, concise, concrete and complete. Clear is not fuzzy or too general. Concise is to the point, without getting lost in unnecessary descriptions or justifications. Concrete means naming the sins specifically, even in number in the case of grave sins, to show that we realize the moral scope of them. Complete means not knowingly concealing mortal sins.

At the end of confession, the confessor imposes an appropriate penance: a prayer, sacrifice or good deed, which it is best to fulfill as soon as possible after confession so as not to forget them. But aren’t we already forgiven in confession? Surely we are, but just as recovery comes after healing, so must we recover after forgiveness. “Absolution takes away sin, but does not undo the disorder caused by sin.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1459) So, penance causes us to recover order where there is still disorder (for example, by offering a prayer for the person of whom we are jealous). We also do penance to make up for something that violated God’s justice and cannot remain unpunished (for example, an abortion that took the life of a child of God). In this context, we speak of purification of “temporal punishment” (see Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1472).

Forgetting to mention a daily sin in confession is not a problem at all, as there is no obligation to confess it. On the other hand, if, out of forgetfulness or ignorance, we fail to mention a mortal sin, it is understood that we should not neglect to bring it up in the next confession. However, there is no need to rush to confession immediately, as there is no malice or willful concealment involved. Deliberately concealing a mortal sin, however, invalidates the confession and makes it necessary to repeat it, mentioning all the sins already confessed, along with the concealed sin.

Shame is an unpleasant feeling that comes to every normal human being when he becomes aware that he or others have done something wrong. If your conscience is well formed, you will feel more shame at actions that are morally wrong than at actions that are okay. But, mind you, feelings of shame are not enough to know exactly whether something is really right or wrong. That is the job of conscience. Feelings of shame are pinging displays on your dashboard that tell you to check the tire pressure or oil level to proceed safely. In other words, they are very useful if they make your conscience think and if they help you put right what was wrong and improve … This way, you get rid of your feelings of shame at the same time! In short, confession is perhaps the best way to get rid of feelings of shame.

See Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1422-1498 and 1854-1864, and Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 296-312 and 394-396.